YOUNG
WOMANS PAGE
WHAT IS ABUSE?
Usually when we
think of abuse, we think of physical abuse. Physical abuse can include
pushing, slapping, kicking and punching.
"It
all started with a lot of pushing and slapping. Then one day he
pulled me by the hair and threw me down the stairs. When I came
to, he was sitting beside me crying. I felt bad for him and afraid
for myself."
Abuse can also be
emotional and psychological. This kind of abuse is hard to see because
it leaves no marks but it hurts just the same. Emotional abuse can include
insulting, pressuring, threatening, isolating you from family and friends
and being very possessive and jealous.
"In
the beginning he phoned me almost ten times a day. I felt really
special, but then he started hassling me about how I should do things,
like what I should wear, how I should act. He started saying things
about my friends, like who I should see and stuff about where I
could go. For a long time I thought his jealousy meant he loved
me."
Another kind of
abuse is forced sexual contact and intimacy. It's your right to decide
when and if you want sex. When your rights are ignored it can lead to
harassment, physical assault and rape.
"The
guy I went out with was very sexually forceful with me. He always
wanted to have sex, even when I didn't want to. He'd just keep bugging
me until I gave in. He always said that he loved me and if I loved
him I'd love it too."
Abuse is hard to
talk about but silence makes it worse. When you need to talk, finding
the right person is not always easy but keep on trying. There are people
who care.
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FIND SOMEONE TO TALK TO:
It helps if you
find somebody who:
·
Believes in
you.
·
Doesn't blame you.
· Doesn't judge you.
·
Stands by you as you make your choices.
·
Won't tell others what you have said unless you say it is ok.
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SOME
PLACES WHERE YOU CAN GO FOR HELP:
·
Friends
·
School Counsellors
· Family
· Friend's parents
· Teachers
· Community Workers
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YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO....
·
You have a right to develop into the woman you want to be without
manipulation or pressure.
·
You have a right to an education; learning without worry about your
life.
· You have a right to be
yourself. Find out who that is on your own.
· You have a right to be
beautiful.
· You have the right to have
fun and anticipate your future.
· You have the right
not to feel fear and/or embarrassment.
·
You have the right to wear what you want to wear, hang out with
who you want to hang out with and feel what
what you want to feel.
Don't
let someone else live your life for you. There is help. You are not
alone. Please
e-mail me if you need
someone to listen and understand.
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